postictal | ic inbox; entranceway

yes i want the real answer
you keep celebrating my birthday so it should be a two-way street

[That's the least asshole way to say "you know way too much about me and I know next to nothing about you because I have a sense of basic fucking privacy and decency to respect it" and probably the most benign way to exploit whatever lingering guilt Jay hopefully has over that fact.]

[It should be a two-way street. Too bad the hooded--too bad Brian didn't think Jay's medical records were worth passing around. Too bad the details of Jay's life weren't evidence, weren't useful to anybody.]

i don't remember
there you go
that's the real answer

[He should stop.]

[He doesn't, though, because this is the first time he's ever really been able to talk about it. He didn't want to tell the viewers. They'd have been weird about it.]

2009 was the first year i missed it
the next year was the first time i realized i didn't know when it was anymore
i know i was born in 85
i know that much
just not the day

i know it was cold though
or like
getting cold

and i think i was a junior the same time alex was and he was 86
he put it on his website
and his myspace
which means i should have been born after august sometime
fall semester
unless i got held back or something
i don't remember getting held back

i don't know though
that's the point

[In retrospect, it shouldn't be surprising. It's surprising in that dull sort of pang in the center of his chest, like remembering a dead friend; a revelation that's always been there but manages to take him by surprise, simply because he didn't stop to consider it.]

[Of course he wouldn't remember. His memory is just as bad as Tim's, and worse in some cases. Tim never lost seven months in one go, now, did he?]

[There's a long pause. Maybe too long.]

so
pick one

what do you mean "pick one"

there's like a 1 in 365 chance i'm right

november 23

there
fine

[His first day after the seven-month gap.]

[Died then, too. Somewhere around then. Stopped paying attention after a while.]

[Happy birthday to him.]

does it matter if youre right or not
if we're celebrating my birthday then we're celebrating yours too

[This is equal-opportunity embarrassment and awkward inability to have a conversation about video games over here, goddamnit.]

only fair

cool

[This is not in the least bit cool. It's unsettling.]

okay then i guess the official birthday placeholder is november 23
leftover turkey cake for everyone

[Jay gets an idea. A terrible, awful idea. It'll have to wait until he sees Tim in person. For now, he's got another awful idea to discuss.]

just so you know
just for that i considered pulling out sonic 2k6
but nobody deserves that as their first game

you realize that i have no idea what that means right

[He has no idea about how any of the Sonic games work, Jay. His pop cultural literacy begins and ends at whatever he picked up in his all-too-brief stint at college, and most of his memories of those years have been sheared away by time or entropy or things better off not named.]

[At least he can mark it on the calendar. November 23rd.]

[Good.]

good
you're better off this way

[Maybe Tim couldn't be spared from a childhood locked up or a life of misery, but at least Jay can spare him from this one slice of shit pizza. A true hero.]

any preferences, or should i grab whatever?

i just said i didn't exactly have video games growing up
what makes you think i have a preference

[You could bring him fucking phone tetris and it'd be a brand new experience. That's how pathetic this is.]

[God, why does Jay bother. Why is he still bothering to celebrate some asshole's birthday, when this is the same guy that nearly burned him alive, that nearly killed him on the spot and failed to follow through solely because of shot nerves and shitty timing?]

[Maybe he learned something from Brian. Maybe he picked up a copy of Game Informer in between doctors' visits and wandering around the woods in a knock-off Scream mask. Jay didn't want to assume.]

alright cool
my shitty taste in games it is

fourth floor tea room in like an hour?

sure
if you're sure

[He suggested it. Why wouldn't he - ]

[God. It's fine. He's overthinking. It's probably fine. Jay wouldn't have bothered if he didn't want to on some level, surely? Or maybe he feels obligated to. Like a...make up present for everything that's gone down between them.]

[Though if that's case, surely Tim should be the one apologizing instead?]

sure

[Sure.]

[Jay starts off on his barely-a-plan, keeping his phone on him to catch any future messages. First order of business? Dragging a TV out of the closet and over to the tea room. The one he gets isn't huge, but holding a camera isn't the best way to build upper body strength. You wind up all lopsided. Still, it gets there, along with a Genesis and a PS3. Couldn't afford it back home, but that's the beauty of Wonderland. He returns from the library with an armload of games on loan: Sonic 2, Streets of Rage, and hell, sure, Toejam and Earl for the co-op.Guitar Hero, because he's the music guy, right? He grabs a few others, some single-player, some rhythm, some platformers. He even throws Neverwinter Nights on the pile, even though it'll require him grabbing his laptop if Tim actually wants to try it.]

[Next order of business: snacks. You can't introduce a guy to games without a snack that'll leave greasy cheese dust all over his hands. It'd just be missing something. He also picks up a pack of beef jerky, for familiarity's sake.]

[Speaking of missing something...]

[When Jay finally settles in upstairs, he's got a couple bags of snacks, a bottle of soda, and two slices of Publix (TM) brand vanilla ice cream cake. He hasn't had any kind of birthday anything since high school, and he hasn't had cake since before that, but he thinks he remembers being fond of ice cream cake.]

[There's also a persistent meowing from below the tea room table.]

[Jay sits hunched over the cake, arms forming a flimsy barrier in case Archie gets any bright ideas.]

[There's always a sense of...unfamiliarity. Awkwardness. Uncertainty. It comes with the territory of just deciding to hang with someone who's tried to tie you up, who's stalked you for months on end, who you've successfully kidnapped on multiple occasions and who has no reason to really give a shit about you anymore and in fact has every reason to tell you to fuck off and never speak to him again.]

[But Jay asked.]

[He doesn't expect it to be a whole...thing, is the thing. He wanders into the tea room and blinks, because this isn't just a casual hang-out between friends. There's a fucking cake, and multiple game systems he can't put a name to, and it's...it's been set up.]

[Tim blinks for a few moments, brow creasing.]

[Then:]

Is that...cake meowing at me?

[There's a cake, and multiple game systems, and in and among the snacks on the table is...a running camcorder.]

[~~Jay would prefer not to forget this.~~]

[Tim arrives, blinking at the spread--it's overkill, it's weird, it's not something you just do for the guy who tried to immolate you a couple months back, the guy whose wound you split open just to get him to talk--and something jolts in Jay's chest.]

[It's only the second time Jay's seen him since the chess match, and Jay's stupid goddamn instincts keep insisting he's dead. He can't be here.]

[But the dead man said something, and Jay's supposed to respond.]

That's just, uh--

[Jay lifts the tablecloth (courtesy of Wonderland, not Jay's nonexistent party decor) and underneath, there's a grey tabby batting at Jay's shoelaces with six-fingered paws. He's small and lanky, only about a year old.]

--this asshole.

[He understands the desire for the camera - he has the feeling that he could, potentially, stipulate a no cameras allowed rule and Jay might be guilted into complying because it is, after all, Tim's birthday. He could, but that might open a line of dialogue he's not sure he wants to commit to.]

[Tim hunkers down to offer a hand for the cat to sniff.]

So this is, uh...Archie?

[Archie concludes that the strange new human is more worthy of his attention than Jay's ragged shoelaces. He approaches warily, pupils wide, before examining Tim's hand. He looks at it, sniffs at it, pulls back--]

[--and then bunts his head up against it before flopping over onto his side, expectantly.]

Don't pet his--his stomach.

[There's a hint of relief in Jay's voice.]

He'll think you're playing. I think. [He learned through trial and error, and a hand covered in little pinpricks.] And, uh, yeah. Tim, meet Archie; Archie, meet Tim.

Why’d you bring him?

[He doesn’t sound bothered as he says it, but it just seems like a strange way to usher in an impromptu birthday celebration, in the loose sense of the word. He’s not had any notable experience with cats. The odd stray hung around, sure, but he never really bothered to get to know them personally.]

[Still not entirely sure why Jay ended up with one, either. He scratches the cat behind his ears, experimentally.]

[Archie's ears flick back for a moment when Tim touches his head, but when he realizes what his hand's doing there, he relaxes.]

[Jay's eyebrows raise. Sounds like Tim hasn't got much experience with cats, even if he somehow managed to win Archie over.]

I didn't. He brought himself. He, uh-- [Jay lifts his hands in a vague approximation of a shrug.] He saw me getting the food and just assumed it was for him.

How long have you had him, anyway?

[He didn't know how and when and why Jay acquired a cat, or what it might mean that he now owns one. It's not like Tim has ever been able to afford a pet, even if he wanted one. Maybe now, in Wonderland but - ]

[But he has his hands full. He can barely keep himself alive, barely keep Jay alive, and in most cases he can't even manage either. He doesn't need some small animal relying on him on top of that.]

[Jay squints at the wall, trying to remember.]

'Bout six months, I think. Why?

[Is Tim surprised he managed to keep the little terror alive this long? Unexpected and unbidden, Jay's stomach turns, and he forces the feeling down as best he can. Archie's fine. He's gonna be fine.]

[Like right now, he's pushing his little head up against Tim's hand--the guy who gave Jay a black eye, the guy who he watched drive a knife into a shapeshifter's throat, the guy who nearly lit him on fire--and Archie's fine. He's okay.]

[Besides, it's Tim's birthday. He's back from the dead, and it's his birthday, and the cat likes him. That should count for something, even though Jay hasn't given it enough thought to determine what.]

Edited 2018-06-26 06:19 (UTC)

Just...didn't know you liked cats.

[He also did not, to be fair, know that Jay played video games. That Jay likes video games enough to just have this kind of collection on hand and be able to whip out a handful of titles that Tim's never heard of. That Jay actually gave a shit about stuff like script-writing and cinematography, and wasn't merely going along with Alex Kralie's dumb, hipster, student film vision.]

[He didn't know Jay's birthday. He never asked.]

Enough to keep one of your own, anyway.

Well, now you know I like cat.

[Jay winces; that sounded funnier in his head.]

I mean, they were looking for a home for him and my, uh...my family always had cats when I was growing up, so I...yeah. [Jay scratches at his neck, intently focused on a blank spot on the wall. The next bit is muttered under his breath:] Weird what sticks.

[He sits up a little straighter, shakily turning to Tim.]

What about--about you? Did your, like...did you guys have any pets before...?

[Jay doubts you'd get to see too many cats in the hospital. Service dogs, maybe. Service horses? Are those a thing?]

Yeah, if my hospital was big on therapy dogs I wouldn’t have run away half as much as I actually did.

[He’s talking to the one person who knows his entire history, bar nothing. He thinks that entitles him to be a little flip if he wants. Specifically because the question, well-intentioned as it might have been, was pretty damn stupid.]

Cats are pretty low maintenance. Guess you could’ve done worse.

[Jay squints. Is Tim...trying to say he's a dog person under all that, or is he just being a prick?]

[He can't quite keep the defensive edge out of his voice.]

Yeah, you say low-maintenance, but--

[Jay turns in his seat to fully face Tim, gesturing aimlessly. For the first time since Tim's arrival, the cake is left unprotected.]

[Archie sees his opening, wriggling out from under Tim's hand to launch toward the table, claws hooking into the tablecloth. Jay lunges for him.]

No!

[Mercifully, the cake is spared. The bottle of day-glo yellow soda (off-brand; tastes better than the 'real' stuff sometimes) isn't so lucky. It doesn't split when it hits the ground, but Jay suspects he'll have to wait at least another fifteen minutes before he even considers cracking it open.]

[Still, cake is safe. Cat has been blocked, though he's still holding onto the tablecloth, tail twitching with frustration.]

You wanna... [Tough to sound nonchalant when you're half-supporting an angry cat's reluctant descent down the side of a table.] ...eat this before he tries again?

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