postictal | ic inbox; entranceway

[No. He really can't.]

[And yeah, he does remember that.]

that wasn't what i meant

you're trying to derail me. it's not gonna work

[He's the guy who stands between people and the end of things, because being an immovable object is all he's really good for.]

you're a professional derailer
and you admitted to me straight up that you'd stop me

so no i'm not telling you anything

[He doesn't answer for a good twenty minutes or so.]

okay.

[He'll just have to keep an eyesocket on Tim. Fine.]

can you tell me one thing, though?

do you remember what happened to you that max had to rewind?

i don't remember, but if i called max because of it it must have been bad

[That's too easy. It's too easy an acquiescence. Meaning this is just someone else he thought could be his friend, only to realize that he's possessed of the same kind of passive, slack-jawed compassion as Jay. The kind that doesn't intervene until it's way too late but will take personal responsibility regardless.]

[Fuck this.]

no
i don't remember what happens when she does that
i can guess

neither can i

what's your guess, then?

if you don't mind telling me

[If he knows how to handle it next time, he might not have to get Max involved.]

[Oh, so now he asks.]

i have seizures sometimes
it's a human thing
if you're unlucky

so what does that mean?

and if it happens what should i do?

it means all your muscles seize and you convulse and you black out and have trouble breathing
there's nothing anyone can do once it happens

[Except get far, far away from him once the postictal stage settles in.]

my meds are supposed to keep it from happening

[Seizure=seizing. Well, yup, that makes sense. It's not something that happens to monsters, but he at least knows what the words mean. Jerky movements, trouble breathing...he can imagine that his past self saw that and assumed Tim was dying.]

jeez. okay

so there's nothing i can do but just...let it happen?

what if you stop breathing?

i could carry extra meds around or something

[They're just pills, right? He's got pockets for days, and they're mostly just filled with ketchup and lint. Carrying around a bottle of pills wouldn't be too hard.]

you're gonna try asking the closets for a specific prescription for someone else when you don't even know what it is i'm taking?
when i barely know myself?

most seizures don't last longer than a few minutes
i'll live

you're probably better off not being around once it starts

they *are* magic closets

or you could tell me what it is and i could try to get it that way

i know maybe two things about humans work so i'm kinda just throwing spaghetti at a wall here

[He keeps trying to get Papyrus to do that too, but no luck so far.]

so basically next time i should just leave you alone and not call anyone?

[It's a wretched thought, but Sans wonders if Tim maybe isn't telling him something important so that the next time it happens, Tim will just conveniently die, and no one will blame anyone. Maybe Sans will look this up in the library, just in case.]

i just told you i don't even know what's in it

[He just knows that it works.]

and yes
just don't fucking film it to post it online
i've lived with this my whole life without anyone needing to take care of me after i learned how to deal with it

i'm not your babysitter tim

that's not what this is

i don't know what else to tell you
it's not my fault that you don't know how humans work and never bothered to learn

[Wow, okay.]

okay then.

now i won't have to bother max next time, so

thank you

yeah
see you never

[...]

really

is that what you want

conversations with you are like walking on thin fucking ice
i think you shut down like three separate times in this one alone

so either cut it out or don't bother

[Such an inconvenience. Such a problem.]

you didn't answer me before you know

you never seem to give straight answers
so i guess we're even

what do you want a straight answer on

you answered some of my questions

if you want this to be about equivalency, then i owe you

i don't care

look obviously you need this spelled out for you so i'll make it easy

you can't help me
you can't fix me
no amount of magic or medicine or luck or friendship will make any of it go away
there's no loophole for this one

it took me most of my life to learn that one
so just take my word for it

[You can't fix me.]

[Seriously?]

[Seriously?]

fix you

is that what you think

do you think i don't know what that looks like

do you think i don't know what it's like to have people try to fix you, over and over

how everyone has some tip or trick or piece of advice

just do this or do that and you'll feel better

just try harder. don't be so negative. just believe in yourself more.

you think i don't know what it's like to be some doctor's science project

you *get it*

we both get it

and you seriously think i'd do that to you?

you seriously

[~~think that little of me?~~]

[Of course, of course, of course he does. Why wouldn't he?]

helping is different from fixing

i'm sorry i don't know every little thing about a species i've known for a grand total of three years

i'm sorry i'm not willing to just ditch you because there's some weird ghost haunting you

i'm sorry for not wanting to risk max accidentally killing me next time i see something happening to you that scares me

tim i don't want to fix you

i know some things can't be fixed

i just want to help

and if i can't, then i can't

i'm very good at accepting when i can't do something

ic inbox; entranceway

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