[None of them planned on dying. Jay was probably the least qualified person out there, but they slapped a crown on him and threw half the people he knew into the line of fire just to keep him safe. Like his shitty existence was worth any of their lives.]

[He's still thankful, that's the worst thing. Thankful he didn't have to feel himself bleeding out across the chessboard, thankful he didn't have to risk going back a second time. Would he have gone there, if he died? Just him, alone, lying on the concrete squinting at the orange sky? Would Tim have gone, too? Does Wonderland have somewhere else it sends people? Is there a somewhere at all, or does it just...stop?]

What was it like?

[He didn't mean to say that. He didn't mean to say it, but now he's said it, and now he's got to clarify.]

Not...I mean, I know what... [Stop while you're ahead.] I'm talking about after.

[You're at a birthday party, for god's sake. Think before you speak.]

Or we could...not talk about that right now. Sorry, that was...sorry.