["I'd love to stop trying to kill the people I care about."]
[Huh.]
[He's right, though. He's right and Jay hates it. He's never consciously considered just trying to stop being a paranoid fucking mess because maybe this is the first time he's ever consciously considered it might be more dangerous than whatever it's protecting him from. The couple times it happened were accidents, flukes, and every one of them was temporary. If he tried--if he tried, right now, starting today, to just stop, he knows it wouldn't stick.]
[But he has to do something, even if it's stupid as shit, because that's just...who he is, he guesses.]
[Jay gestures behind him, at the snacks, at the gradually collapsing ice cream cake, at the screen and the pile of cases and cartridges.]
no subject
[Huh.]
[He's right, though. He's right and Jay hates it. He's never consciously considered just trying to stop being a paranoid fucking mess
because maybe this is the first time he's ever consciously considered it might be more dangerous than whatever it's protecting him from.The couple times it happened were accidents, flukes, and every one of them was temporary. If he tried--if he tried, right now, starting today, to just stop, he knows it wouldn't stick.][But he has to do something, even if it's stupid as shit, because that's just...who he is, he guesses.]
[Jay gestures behind him, at the snacks, at the gradually collapsing ice cream cake, at the screen and the pile of cases and cartridges.]
Guess that was step one.