postictal | stats; entranceway

I've blamed everyone else except for me

and I could be the one who started it.

⊗ P L A Y E R;

Name: Zero
Pronouns: They/them
Timezone: PST
Contact: PM,

arrpee, zero#8942 @ discord
Permissions/Opt-Out: Here

⊗ B A S I C S;

Name: Timothy Wright
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Species: Human (~~mostly~~)
Date of Birth: June 19th, 1987
Date of Arrival: September 1st, 2016
Housing: Floor 6, Room 19
Deaths: N/A

⊗ I N V E N T O R Y;

✘ BOX OF CIGARETTES
✘ LIGHTER
✘ CELLPHONE: Standard Wonderland-issue.
✘ WALLET: Contains some seventy dollars in cash and assorted identification cards.
✘ PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION: Closet refills only.
✘ CLOTHES
✘ TAPE OF ENTRY #67: A bad memory.
✘ UNLABELED TAPE: From his future.
✘ RED CHESS PIECE: Summons the Red Queen.

⊗ B O D Y; physical looks, traits, style of dress.

About 5'5", Tim is short, heavyset, and stocky. He doesn't often smile, possessed of a firm jaw with a slight underbite. He bears large, prominent sideburns, along with a few days' worth of stubble that frequently crosses into the territory of an unshaven beard. His curtains match his windows; dark brown hair to pair with brown eyes. He frequently looks as though he hasn't been sleeping, with dark circles imprinted beneath both eyes. He is of ambiguous ethnicity, as is most evident in his brown complexion and epicanthic folds. Though they are not obvious, Tim bears a great deal of scars on his legs, upper thighs, shoulderblades, sides, upper arms, and forearms; they are all thin, horizontal, and most of them are quite faded.

His demeanor is generally unobtrusive and quiet. He dislikes eye contact and physical contact of most kinds, though he will often hunch his shoulders and hug himself when particularly stressed. He often feels the need to keep his hands in his pockets or have them crossed across his chest when he isn't smoking.

His wardrobe is simple and unimaginative. He favors jeans paired with dull t-shirts and the occasional flannel button-down.

He speaks with a noticeable Alabaman drawl, and frequently lapses into a heavy smoker's cough.

When his masked self takes control, their movements are feral and predatory. They do not speak, and when possible, they clad Tim's body in a tan Member's Only jacket and an eerie white mask.

⊗ M I N D; psyche, personality, general mentality.

Paranoid, bitter, angry, and morose. Tim has not had an easy life, and this is reflected in his behavior. A long history of mental health problems paired with a severe lack of interpersonal or emotional support in his childhood while dealing with said problems has left him feeling like an inherently toxic presence in the lives of others. He is anhedonic, and has medical difficulty experiencing emotions such as pleasure or happiness. He furiously barricades others out of his life, and can't quite understand the possibility that someone might consider him a friend or, even more bizarre, willingly remain in his company.

Despite that and despite Tim's obliviousness to his own redeeming qualities, those are skills he very much possesses. Tim is a deeply compassionate person who does not like to stand idly by while others endure anything that looks or feels remotely like what he had to live with as a child and an adult. When he recognizes that someone may very well be enduring similar problems to his own, it does not occur to him that he should do anything besides step in and try to help.

Tim has never not been in survival mode. He is constantly on edge, constantly suspicious, and constantly feeding himself the idea that he would honestly be better off dead. He often allows himself to be derailed by his own self-loathing, a downward spiral that will first manifest in profound anger and blame directed outward, at whoever may be nearby, before it inevitably cycles back inward and he finds a way to lay the blame of the problem upon himself - regardless of whether or not it is deserved.

⊗ S K I L L S; talents, powers, magics.

✘ LIAR — Tim is a skilled liar. Unless someone has a direct mental link into his mind to gauge whether he is putting up a front or not, he seldom lets slip any indication of his unreliability, particularly if prepared. However, in times of extreme stress and anxiety, this facade easily crumbles, and he allows the guilt of said lies to plague him indefinitely.

✘ THE OTHER — A secondary, vestigial consciousness has nested in Tim's skull for several years now. It has a poor conceptualization of itself and others, violent and almost childlike in its predispositions. Tim is capable of suppressing it as long as he remains medicated; it is only when he undergoes one of his seizures that he is in a state where he cannot resist its crawl into his mind. His dissociative state has no name and a very underdeveloped sense of its identity, but it has a tendency toward violence to solve most of its problems.

✘ DISTORTION — Tim's presence has a small chance of generating low-level static interference with audiovisual technology. At times, it may increase in potency when he is particularly emotional, generating distortion and "noise" that may temporarily reduce the function of nearby technology.

⊗ M E D I C A L; what lies beneath.

Tim's history with mental illness is varied and long, and his problems are manifold. His medical records detail most of those problems at reasonable length.

✘ OPERATOR — Tim has been a favorite subject of the creature known as "the Operator" for most of his life. Faceless, tall, and seen wearing a suit, very little about the creature is known properly except for its attachment to Timothy Wright. Since he was a child, he would frequently see the Operator in what doctors claimed were hallucinations. The Operator's presence tends to interfere very highly with electrical signals in both technology and in the human brain, which is why proximity to it tends to generate seizures.

✘ SEIZURES — Tim lives with a unique form of epilepsy that may occasionally trigger tonic-clonic seizures. He takes anticonvulsant prescription medication regularly to keep such things at bay. It is not known if this is a condition the Operator bestowed upon him, or one that it simply learned to take advantage of.

✘ COMORBIDITY — A combination of his current mental health issues and his general life history has left Tim with a cocktail of severe depression and a panic disorder. Since he was a child, Tim has been at a high risk for suicide and self-harm.

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